(1) Maths teacher asks a boy what are 2,4,10,17?The boy replies they are HBO, ZOOM, SONY and POGO.
2.0
Q: Wat did gangster's son tell his dad wen he failed his Examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hrs but I never told them anything.
3.
A Bumper Sticker on a married Man's Car:
Do not disturb...
Already disturbed.
4
Teacher: If I were to ask you to add 9731 to 237 and then halve it. Wat do u think u would get?
Johnny: The Wrong Answer, Madam.
5
Dad:2 thngs in life r imp. Honesty n Wisdom !
Son:Wats honesty?
Dad:Keep ur word if u hv gvn it.
Son:Wisdom?
Dad:Dont gve it !
6
Krak: Should i buy tkts 2 My Children.
Conductor: Yes only if they r abve 8.
Krak: Thank God i hav 1ly 6 Children
8
Judge: Dont U hav shame? It is 3rd time U R coming 2 Court.
Thief to judge: U R comng daily, dont U hav shame?
10
Krak : Ppl consider me as "GOD"
Jak : How do u know ?
Krak : Wen I went 2 Park 2day,evrybody said,"O GOD ! U hav came again"
11
A guy goes 2 Interview.
Manager : Wat is ur place of Birth?
Guy: Thiruvananthpura
Manager :Spell it?
Guy: No..No..Its Goa...!
Son:Dad,v vl soon Bcom Vry RICH.
Father:Wat makes u say so,my Son.?
Son:2mrw,my Teacher vl teach me how 2 convert Paisa In2 Rupees.
16
Galfren 2 Boyfren:The time has com wen v shud get Married.
Boyfren: Tats OK,but who vl Marry us?
18
Crak was SHOPPING
Shopkeeper: Sir,Do u want POCKET CALCULATOR.?
Crak: No Thanx.I know how many Pockets i hav..!
19
In 1OO Mtr Race,It Was Announced
1
2
3
Start
Al Startd Running Except Crack
Coach:y r u Stil Waiting?
Crack:My No Is 4
20
Son: Daddy,4+3 How Much?
Krak: Idiot,u dont know anything? Go n bring calculator 4rm inside.I vl teach.
21
Krak: R U going 2 Boss Funeral?
Jak : Oh No,Im working 2day. My Motto is Business b4 Pleasure
24
Mr.Bean gvs Dictation test 2 Students,
Last bench students: V r not able 2 hear U SIR,
Mr.Bean :"OK I L WRITE ON BOARD !!!!
25
Customer: Waiter,do you serve Pigs?
Waiter: Pls sit down Sir,we serve Everyone.
26
Tcher: Make Sentence in wich 1 word repeated 4 times
SANTA: Lara Dutta marries Brian Lara n she bcoms Lara Lara
27
A man in Hel askd Devil: Can I mak a cal 2 my Wife?
Aftr makng cal he askd how much 2 pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell 2 hell is Free.
29
Bean saw board at d centre of Pond.
He tried readng bt culdnt,he swims 2 centre of Pond n Reads
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"CROCODILE ZONE,DONT SWIM"
32
Every woman needs a husband Bcoz ther r num of thngs tat go wrong 4 evrythng u cannot blame God or Government !!!
33
Man Conducting Marketing Survey Askd A Lady: Wich Book Has Helped U Most In ur Life?
Lady: My Husband's "Cheque Book"
34
Crak: Y it is said tat children brighten home?
Jak : That is bcos they never turn any of lights off.
35
Inspector questioning Manager in Govt.Office: Who accepts bribes in dis office?
Manager:How much WL u gve me 4 Dat inFORmatn??
37
Syllabus -80 GB
V study - 80 MB
Retails in mind -80KB
ri8 in Exam - 80 Bytes
Result coms in Binary Digits i.e.
00
01
10
11
39
Can You Spell A Word That Has More Than 100 Letters In It?
Letter box J
41
Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.
Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.
42
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “and why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”
Little Johnny replied, “Because we must not disturb people while sleeping.”
43
Do bachhe jungle mein potty kar rahe the. Tabhi wahan par sher (Lion) aa gaya.
Pehla doosre se bola : Oye tu dar raha hai.
Doosra bola : Nahi!
Pehla bola : Abe toh apni dho, meri kyon dho raha hai….!
45
Teacher: What excuse have you got for being late?John: (breathlessly) I ran so fast, teacher, that I didn't have time to think of one
46
Teacher writes a sum, 3 + 7 = 9, on the blackboard.
Teacher: Is the sum right?
First Student: Wrong.
Second Student: Right.
First Student: Wrong.
Second Student: Right
First Student: 3 + 7 should be 10 and not 9, right?
Second Student: Right.
First Student: Then why did you say 3 + 7 is 9 right?
Second Student: Because you say it is wrong and I agreed with you.
First Student: Wrong.
Second Student: Right.
First Student: Wrong.
Second Student: Right
First Student: 3 + 7 should be 10 and not 9, right?
Second Student: Right.
First Student: Then why did you say 3 + 7 is 9 right?
Second Student: Because you say it is wrong and I agreed with you.
47
Silvia: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Dad: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Silvia: Your name on this report card.
Dad: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Silvia: Your name on this report card.
48
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil: A teacher.
Pupil: A teacher.
49
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: You have done the right thing.
Son: But I was sitting on daddy's lap.
50
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”
One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie.”
“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher.
“When I was your age, I didn’t even know what a lie was.”
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher
51
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
52
How 2 catch squirrels?
Its simple.
Just climb a tree n sit,Squirrels vl com in search of U...
U know Y? Coz They Love NUTS! ;0
53
Q: Why did rinku bury her driver's license?
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A: Because it had expired
54
Salesman: This Computer cuts ur workload by 50 percent
Mr.Bean: Then I'll take 2 of them
55
R mosquitoes Religious?
Yes, They first sing over u & then prey on u
56
U may have Airtel or Idea Connection,
bt wen u sneeze,
all u say is Hutch
57
Sunny (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Bunny: "Why don't you use a Mouth Wash?"
58
How do u call ur MUM's Younger Sis and Elder Sis?
Crack: Minimum and Maximum
59
Height of Kanjoosi:
Bania's house in fire, he is gvng miss calls 2 Fire Brigade
61
How much is 1 + 1 = ? . . . . . . .
Are u stil looking for d answer? Shame on U!
62
My Life was in darknes b4 i met u,now it is br8.u know y?
Coz u r a tubelight!
c u cudnt find dat its a joke n didnt laugh :) hence prov
63
Y did Crack throw the butter out of the window?
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He wanted to see butterfly!
64Clas Rooms R Lik Train
1st 2 Benchs R Exe Coaches
Reservd 4 VIP
Mid 2 Gen Comprtmnt
N Last 2 R Sleepr Clas
66
Best Quote of Advrtsmnt
writn in front of famous Beauty Parlour
"Dont whistle at Gal going out 4rm here,
She mi8 b ur Grand Mother"
67
Generally,
V bliv our MEMORY is weak,
BUT
Wen v want 2 4get SOMEONE,
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we realize how powerful our MEMORY Is..!
69
Do you Like me as I am??
or do I haVe to
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Request GOD to impRove your taste ??
70
Bunty: I havnt slept al nyt in train.
Bubli: Y?
Bunty: Got uper brth.
Bubli: Y dint u xchange?
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